


No Shame in That

by Ebonyheart



Series: Southern Spock [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock Friendship, Leonard "Bones" McCoy is a Good Friend, M/M, Sassy Spock (Star Trek), Southern Politeness, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tumblr made me do it, southern Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 18:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ebonyheart/pseuds/Ebonyheart
Summary: Captain’s log, star date 97431.6:Officer Spock had an interesting interaction with the nephew of an ambassador. Apparently they had vastly different views of how adults should interact with children, but this was quickly rectified once Officer Spock realized that there was an infection of some sort impairing the other man’s judgement. The following will be an unofficial record of events as I understand them, merely for posterity.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Series: Southern Spock [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536089
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	No Shame in That

**Author's Note:**

> Look. Look I haven’t seen a goddamn episode of ToS in at least 4 years, but I need to make you all see Southern!Spock, okay? Be kind, I just wanna write Kirk laughing so hard he almost passes out because his husband knows how to use Southern Politeness at its finest and it weirds Bones out.

**Asshole:** I can’t believe you’ve fallen so low as to make a fool of yourself.

**Spock:** I’m afraid I don’t understand.

**Asshole:** Your moronic songs and “games,” just now with the child who was hiding in your quarters. Have you no shame?

**Spock:** Ah. Are you not fluent in Federation Standard? No need to feel embarrassed if that’s the case, I’m happy to give a lesson on vocabulary while we wait to rectify the misunderstanding.

**Asshole:** It was my first language of several, Vulcan scum, and I did not misspeak! You coddle him when he shouldn’t be seen, never mind heard!

**Spock:** Ah. You must have a fundamental misunderstanding of the word, “Shame,” then because, in situations involving children, it should only be applied to adults doing them harm through action or inaction. As for, “coddle,” I believe you meant, “nurture.”

**Asshole:** I thought our species similar, but are you an outlier? Have you no pride? No decorum?

**Spock:** *blinks slowly* No, I am well known for both, and now is actually a prime example.

**Asshole:** And I don’t understand Federation Standard? Pathetic.

**Spock:** Yes, I believe we covered that. The only “shame,” to be found on my part would be if I had left a child frightened and unattended instead of offering what little comfort I could provide.

**Asshole:** As if that _thing_ merits-

**-thud-**

**McCoy:** *sighs*

**McCoy:** Did you have to do that while he was standing?

**Spock:** Apologies Doctor, it was a medical emergency.

**McCoy:** By all means, please explain.

**Spock:** He was suffering from a dangerous irregularity in the electrical impulses of his nervous system, and I was the only one capable of performing this life saving procedure in time.

**McCoy:** Is that so?

**Spock:** Yes and, unfortunately, it may prove necessary to provide repeated applications in order to make sure it takes full effect. Leaving the condition untreated is quite dangerous, and is well known to have devastating effects over prolonged periods.

**McCoy:** And do you remember the exact _name_ of this illness?

**Spock:** Unfortunately no, but it’s definitely zoonotic. It originated in female canines on Earth before spreading to the human population and, since first contact, has crossed the species barrier. Since my grandfather’s return upon accepting Earth into the Federation, there have been multiple reported cases on Vulcan alone since my childhood. Some have been terminal but, with appropriate treatment, most have a partial recovery with periods of remission.

**McCoy:** Mr. Spock, it almost pains me to say this, but you being able to make this diagnosis correctly is an impressive feat, up to and including your knowledge of... zoonotic diseases.

**Spock:** Thank you Dr. McCoy, the compliment is greatly appreciated.

**McCoy:** Of course. Now, if you could just carry him to sickbay so I can develop a treatment plan somewhere other than the transporter room, that would be much appreciated.

**Spock:** Of course.

**-thud-**

**McCoy:** Well, cognitive recalibration is recommended as a complimentary treatment, but the doorframe is an inspired choice for facilitating that.

* * *

“T'hy'la, you _cannot_ change the name of the ambassador’s nephew to ‘Asshole,’ no matter how much I agree with the sentiment. I should not have to tell you this, or that an exact quote of the conversation was unnecessarily thorough.”

“I know dear, I’m just still offended. Lack of decorum? You?”

“He was rather rude, but still.”

“Fair enough, I’ll change it now.”

”Thank you.”

“Of course, love. What was his name again?”

“...”

“...”

“Just this once.”

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did you guess what Asshole has an almost terminal case of? It’s in the comments somewhere if you haven’t. :}


End file.
